I'm basically amazing.
1. Lying doesn't make you more likely to get a refund
"I NEED TO RETURN IT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK." Now, he was within the return period for used systems, so he had literally no reason to lie. Claiming your return is defective only hurts our bottom line, because we're supposed to send defective merch out to be fixed rather than just repackaging it to resell. Regardless, when we send the stuff out, we're expected to mark what "wasn't working."
"What wasn't working?" I asked. Meanwhile, Ladyboss was plugging in the system to test it.
"THE CABLE OR SOMETHING. IT WOULDN'T SHOW UP ON MY TV."
"So, your TV was the problem, not the system?"
"UHHH..... YEAH."
After I was done with his refund, Ladyboss gestured me over to the testing counter. The 360 had save files for a half dozen different games on it, proving that the gentleman had been using it near-constantly since he bought it.
"Why wouldn't he just say he needed a refund?"
2. Sales Are Temporary: A Melodrama in Two Acts
A lady called, and, much to her fraudulent self's misfortune, got me on the phone.
"DO YOU HAVE THE PS3s FOR $150?"
"Well, that was a sale we had up a couple weeks ago. I'm pretty sure it's over, but let me double check for you. " I went and scanned a PS3, and it rang up as full price, which was over $200. "Yeah, sorry, that sale ended. They're [over $200] now. We might have another sale before Christmas, though, I don't know." She hung up.
About an hour later, I get a call from one of our stores on the other side of town. Much to Ms. Fraud's repeated misfortune, it was again me who answered the phone.
"Hi [Blog Lady]," she said. "Did you tell someone this morning that the $150 PS3 sale was still going?"
I laughed out loud, hoping the Fraudster could hear it.
"Not only did I tell her the sale was over, I had her wait on the line while I verified it," I said.
"Ok, cool."
Do they think we don't talk to each other?
3. Whoops your busted PS3 and whoops your terrible friends
A young couple bought a used PS3 from us, and brought it back a couple weeks later because it was freezing up. The Veteran did all the testing to verify that it was indeed busted, and was getting ready to do the exchange, when he found something interesting.
"Um... we have a little problem," he said. "According to the serial number, this isn't the system we sold you."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN," the dude shouted.
"It means, we scanned the serial number when we sold you the system- it's right here on this receipt- and this serial number is not the serial number on this PS3 that you brought in today."
"BUT LOOK, THERE'S SAVE DATA FOR ALL THE GAMES WE BOUGHT AT THE SAME TIME," the guy yelled, in a manner that was oddly rehearsed.
"That doesn't mean anything," said The Veteran. "We didn't sell you this system."
"SO WHERE DID OUR SYSTEM GO? DON'T YOU TRACK THEM?"
"...No. We only track the ones in our store, which is how we know this isn't one of our systems."
They finally gave up and left. The chick brought back the games to return them, and while The Veteran was processing her refund, it came out that she suspected a friend of swapping her functional system with his busted one. Given how weirdly prepped for a fight the boyfriend was, I'd guess he was in on it, or how would the friend have managed to swap the hard drives with no one noticing?
LADY! DUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GET SOME BETTER FRIENDS LOL
4. Somebody's missing the point of bundles again
At Christmas, we get all kinds of people trying to exchange their Christmas gifts for other games. As long as they're cool with taking the lowest sale price in trade credit, and the game isn't blatantly sporting tags from another store ("Can I exchange this Wal-Mart edition of Assassin's Creed for something else?"), it's generally ok. Unless you're this guy.
He came in with a sealed copy of The Last of Us and wanted to exchange it. At Christmas, Sony released a PS3 bundle that came with the blue 250 GB super slim system, and a copy of The Last of Us. Now, it may not be known to people who haven't been Initiated into the Cult of Retail, but whenever media is bundled together, the individual packages are marked with clear "NOT PACKAGED FOR INDIVIDUAL SALE" text where the bar code would normally be. Sure enough, this guy's game had been part of a bundle, so we pointed out the labeling and told him it was ineligible for refund or exchange.
He harrumph'ed his way out of the store and we haven't seen him since.
There's probably a lot more, but honestly, the customers lie to me so often that it all kind of blends together.
Sometimes I feel like some sort of Gatekeeper of Responsibility, who they feel they have to trick their way past so they can undo their terrible life choices.
"I SEE YOU JUST REALIZED YOU SPENT ALL YOUR MONEY ON VIDEO GAMES AND CAN'T AFFORD FOOD. BEFORE I PROCESS YOUR RETURN, PLEASE ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE. 1. DO YOU HAVE A RECEIPT?"
"Uhh... no?"
"NO CASH REFUND FOR YOOOUUU!! I BANISH THEE TO POOR DECISION MAKING PURGATORY!!!"
And so on. You know how it goes.
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