I AM ALIVE

As a direct result of THE CHRISTMASPOCALYPSE, I have not blogged for almost a month. But never fear! I survived Christmas, am close to surviving the Christmas returns period, and am very much alive.

Also, I graduated from college, so I'm Bachelor Blog Lady now. 

Luckily, lots of entertaining things happened while I was away, so prepare yourself for a bunch of hilarious blog posts. Hooray!

BLOG LADY OUT

Frequently asked questions

Today, I, Miss Blog Lady, am going to take some time out of my very busy life to answer a burning question I've gotten from many a reader.

Q: Why are you using Blogger and not Tumblr?

A: Because Tumblr is for porn.

The end.

"Fucking academic"

My friend Hugh Jackman* read my post on The Walking Dead.

"Why was it so long?" he asked. "Like, it was fucking academic, or something."

More quotes for the trade paperback! 

*Not that Hugh Jackman. Actually, not even named Hugh Jackman. He is small and hairy, though.

Blogger links other, funnier website

Hey, readers! If you're in the mood to read someone openly mock the entitled asswipes who shop at video game stores, why not check out actsofgord.com?

He smacks around people in his store, though. Like, a lot. I've never struck a customer, though we do have a running joke that one day I'm totally going to lose it, go full-on feral rage monster, scream blood fury, lunge across the counter on all fours, and gnaw off someone's thumb, Gollum-style. It'll be all over the news when it happens.

"Crazed Game Store Employee Gnaws Off Neckbeard's Thumb."

Watch out.

Really, GoogleAds?

If there are any women reading this who are wanting for self-esteem, just hit me up and I'll give you some of mine, Ni No Kuni style.

A screen capture of THIS VERY BLOG, featuring an ad for a series of self-esteem seminars for women. NOPE.

"Well written!" "I laughed!"

I asked Regina George what she thought of my blog.

"It's well written," she said. "I laughed."

Now I have my cover quotes for when I get my book deal.

I'm so money

I totally earned a penny from my blog ads! So now I can say that I'm a professional blogger. Watch out, world.