Texts from my friends

"I had a dream last night that I worked at [Store] with you and we smoked crack in the back room and then just went back to selling video games."
- Hugh Jackman

The correct term is "played Animal Crossing," not "smoked crack."

Trade secret.

MUSIC SCHOOL!

Avid followers of the life and times of Miss Blog Lady may be aware that I am, in fact, a music student, at a reasonably reputable university. Or at least, I was. I'm done with the music part of my degree, thank God.

Music school is terrible and you should not go to there. Pick a different dream. No, seriously.

Today, at work with ladyboss, we were playing Animal Crossing, because of course we were. I went to change my town tune.

"Do the Zelda theme," she said. I did a version of it, but it doesn't really fit into the format Animal Crossing gives us without changing the rhythm and making it sound wrong.

"Do the Mario theme," she said.

"Well, I can't do the Mario theme proper because there's accidentals and they only give you a C major scale in the game, but I can do the intro, or other parts of it," I said.

"I don't know what any of that means, but it sounds neat."

Transcribing music has always come so naturally to me that I'm totally that douche who genuinely forgets that other people can't do this stuff. Maybe I should start checking my Musician Privilege. (And no, I do not have perfect pitch, for the people who know what that is and are wondering.)

Regardless, here are some OFFICIAL BLOG LADY ANIMAL CROSSING TRANSCRIPTIONS.

Want to have the Mario theme as your town tune? Well, here it is:

Or how about the Metroid theme? You know, the one that plays while you're stepping out of your save pod thingy.

Or the Kirby theme:

Or the Pokémon Center jingle:

 How about Saria's Song?

Feeling festive? We've got Jingle Bells:

You can buddy up with someone in another town to get both halves of the phrase:

It is America's birthday. Why not the national anthem?

We've got an only slightly crunched version of the Star Wars theme:

And then the Jurassic Park theme:

We can even branch into pop music. Like the chorus of Justin Bieber's OMG hit single, Somebody to Love:

And, at last, the song I decided was going to be come the new Balsaq town tune. Bragging rights if you can tell what it is:

Send in the requests, loyal readers! If it's in simple meter and it fits into either a major or natural minor scale, I can put that shit into Animal Crossing.

I'd say "thank God I went to music school," but I could do this before going to music school.


No, for real. Fuck music school.

The saga of Barold

Anyone who's played an Animal Crossing game knows that you can't choose your townspeople. Some of them are cool, like that penguin who calls me ladybro. Some of them are less than cool.

And some of them are Barold.

I was rudely introduced to Barold when he built his house in my town, right in the middle of the mayoral rose garden. So if, for example, I was trying to get a picture of myself wearing Majora's Mask with the moon in the background:

NOW TO DROP IT ON EVERYONE AND END THE WORLD MUAHAHA

I now had to deal with this stupid eyesore:

Barold's house. He stacked a bunch of cinder blocks outside like a homeless person.

I was polite about Barold's faux pas, at first. I sent him some official mayoral letters, trying to drop hints.

"Dear Barold: I can't help but notice that your hideous cinder block house is still lowering my property values. From [Me]"

This is the reply I got:

"For [Me]: I'm coloring in all the vowels in your letter. It's fun! I tried putting the letter you sent me under my pillow, but so far... no sweet dreams. Well, that's all for today. Your pal, Barold"

Now thoroughly convinced that Barold was a serial killer, I went to visit him at his home.

Barold's house. It's creepy. Trust me on this one.

Barold had no real furniture. He had a server, laptop, and copy machine, probably all used for porn distribution. He slept in a sleeping bag on the floor. And, worst of all:

A picture of Barold's house from the opposite angle.

I'm pretty sure that giant stuffed bear used to be one of his family members.

I eventually got Barold to leave Balsaq, but not before he got fleas and spread them to everyone else in town. When he told me he was finally leaving, my natural politeness kicked in, and I chose the "Oh nooo, that's so saaaad!" option.

"Well, if you feel that strongly about it, I guess I'll stay," he said cheerfully.

Then I reset the game without saving, sat through a lecture from Mr. Resetti, and told that bum to get out of town.

And now Balsaq is great and flea-free again.

Whoops I haven't written a post in forever

I'm just going to write a ton of posts all on the same day, and pretend they were spread out over time. Sound good? Sounds good.

As for what I've been doing, enjoy this poorly-lit phone photo of my Animal Crossing: New Leaf avatar hoarding money in a train station locker instead of putting it in the bank.

Yeah, I'm dressed as the Hero of Time. Don't worry about it.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf

HEY, Y'ALL! GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY!

If your guess was "spent four hours at my job on my day off playing Animal Crossing with my coworkers," you would be CORRECT!

I am now the proud mayor of Balsaq. Ladyboss named her town Gobville, and bossbro named his Bat Cave. Balsaq is the superior town, by like, a lot. Obviously.

We don't have many outlets in our back room, and most of them are being used by way-less-important-than-Animal-Crossing crap like security equipment, so I spent a good chunk my morning playing my 3DS in our filthy bathroom.

I went to work on my day off to play video games with my coworkers, in a bathroom.

But look at how cute we are!

Well, I'm not cute. I got stung by a bee.

Bossbro's been sending his townspeople letters telling them that Balsaq gives you cancer, but I retaliated by letting them know that bossbro's leadership is bad for the working animal, and that my town has free beer.

Plus, this penguin calls me ladybro, and that's great.

"I thought, if this ladybro's in charge, Balsaq is in good hands!"

Your Balsaq is in good hands, Iggly. It's in good hands.