Tablets

It is semi-widely known that selling electronics is not profitable at all, mostly because huge swaths of The Public are technologically illiterate, and as such, either return everything they buy because it "doesn't work" or just become high-maintenance thorns in the retailer's side. Tablets generally can't be resold after they've been returned, so unless the manufacturer has a deal allowing the retailer to return returned tablets, the retailer just has to eat a several-hundred-dollar loss.

Now, somewhere like The Apple Store that's selling their own products can afford to also have tech support and how-to classes- services that are built in to the iPad's high price. Somewhere like Target or Wal-Mart, however, has no post-sale tech support for tablets.

My store falls in the "no support for tablets" category, and people are trying to return them as defective all the time.

The most dramatic example of this is my new best friend Kindle Lady, who has returned no fewer than four Kindles in the past two weeks.

My store sells refurbished Kindles. Kindle Lady ordered four of them for her kids from our website. She of course bought the cheapest model, because she either didn't know there was more than one model of Kindle, or didn't read any of the product descriptions.

She got sent original-model Kindles, and came into the store all flustered because she wanted "the ones with the cameras on them."

"Ok," we said. "That's the Kindle Fire HD, and costs more money."

"That's fine. Oh, and these two won't hold a charge." It didn't matter that she said they were broken because she was returning them anyway, so we did the swap and ordered two Kindle Fire HDs to be sent to her house.

She came back in a week.

"THEY SENT ME ANOTHER BROKEN TABLET," she said. "IT WON'T CHARGE AT ALL." At this point, I'm wondering whether she's just handing them off to her kids and assuming they don't work when the kids can't figure them out. So after doing her exchange- corporate gave her a $20 off coupon for her "trouble"- I plugged in the Kindle.

It powered on and prompted me to set up an account. So, she was telling the truth that she / her kid couldn't get it to turn on, but the issue was simply that the battery was dead and she hadn't let it charge enough.

Luckily, my store only sells used tablets, so the functional ones she returned can just be repackaged and resold. If we'd been selling them new, however, the company would have either lost several hundred dollars outright because this woman didn't know anything about Kindles, or simply denied all her returns, resulting in an angry customer trolling the internet about how terrible we are, which she's probably doing anyway, because we totally ruined Christmas. 

Short version: I hate selling consumer electronics.

Apparently the new Batman game is too hard for the bros

FULL DISCLOSURE: I have not played Batman: Arkham Origins, nor have I played Arkham Asylum or Arkham City (even though I know the ending.) I can't personally attest to the difficulty level. Ladyboss has been playing the game like a maniac, though, and she commented on how hard some of the boss fights were- there were a few she had to do twice. So, you know, there's some level of skill involved.

Because it's a game that requires some level of skill, everybro has been bringing it back to the store to complain about how terrible it is.

One particular repeat-offense bro who also traded in Assassin's Creed IV because he got stuck somewhere came in today to also trade in Arkham Origins. 

"This game is terrible!" he complained, tossing it on the counter.

"Why is it terrible?"

"It's too hard! Why is it so hard? Kids can't play that!"

"Well, most games aren't really designed with kids in mind," I said. "The average gamer is in their 30s."

"It's too hard! I got stuck in Assassin's Creed, and now I'm stuck in Arkham!"

"So, you're trading in the new Batman game because it was too hard for you?" I asked.

Pause.

"Well, you know, it's not that it was hard," he said. "It was just difficult."

Well, that clears that up.

Solidarity, bro

We've recently acquired a gaggle of teenage boys from a nearby high school who come in and heckle the employees by asking a lot of questions about games that don't exist. Grand Theft Auto VI is their favorite- I pointed out that they wouldn't be allowed to buy it even if it existed- but they just cycle through fake sequel titles until they get bored and leave. Today, while they were doing their thing, a Real Customer came in and was shopping around.

"THIS IS TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE," one of the teenage bros shouted.

"You're not customers," I said.

"WE ARE TOO CUSTOMERS!"

"Customers buy things."

"WELL, I WAS GOING TO BUY SOMETHING, BUT NOW I'M OFFENDED SO I WON'T."

As they were huffing about in fake offense, the Real Customer picked out a game and came up to the register. He spoke quietly so the bros wouldn't hear him.

"I'm a high school teacher," he said sympathetically. "I know what it's like to get harassed on the job."

Thanks, guy! It's always good to have a reminder that the public isn't all bad.

Attack of the repeat offender

Guy comes up to me at the counter. This particular repeat offender works in the same shopping center as the store. He is infamous for asking ladyboss and bossbro to bag me up and drop me off at his apartment. I should mention that he is mentally sound.

"You suck," he says.

"You suck!" I say back.

"No, you suck," he says.

"Why are you telling me that I suck?"

"You suck."