Doctor visits

A while back, I was having a gyno exam.

(Yes, I am a Responsible Adult who gets her junk checked out when she's sexually active. I promise that's not what the post is about. Bear with me, here.)

I was having my unmentionables checked as part of a general physical, so I was with my primary care physician. As she's you-know-whating my you-know-what, things got awkward, like they always do. Without even thinking, I blurted out:

"I'm sure this is exactly why you wanted to be a doctor. You know, it's such a glamor profession."

She burst out laughing.

"Oh, god, no," she laughed. "This is nothing. I could never be an eye doctor. I hate poking around people's eyes."

Fast forward several months, and I'm at the optometrist. We're making small talk.

"Last time I was getting a physical, my doctor and I were talking about what kind of doctor we could never be. She said she'd never want to be an eye doctor, because she thinks eyes are gross."

"I actually saw a bunch of funny videos someone made about a bunch of different professions," he said. "The doctor one was great. You know, the mom shows up at 11 when her appointment was at 10:30, and she wants to know why the doctor's not ready for her, and we'd better hurry up because Timmy has to be at practice by 11:30, and then she refuses to pay the copay, because she insists her husband gets professional courtesy because he's a doctor, too. Of philosophy." 

"Yeah, that sounds exactly like the people we get at my crummy retail job," I said.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Why don't I get a discount, and why are you closed, and why can't I wait in the car while my 5-year-old buys Grand Theft Auto, and can't you just spot me five bucks. All the time."

He was boggled.

"People act the same way at the video game store," he said.

"Yep. I mean, I'm sure it's the same people who act like jerks at the doctor's office, but yeah. We literally sell fun, so it makes no sense to me." 

"That's just... wow. We're always getting people who don't show up for appointments and then demand for refunds outside of the refund window. I mean, we give you all the paperwork up front."

"Oh, I couldn't make it during the return period because we were on vacation in Aruba. Like you really need those forty bucks back, lady."

"Right!?"

Shitty customers, man. Bringin' people together.