BOGO: A Rant

Whenever we have any sort of "Buy One, Get One" sale, we inevitably run into the same group of willfully clueless shoppers who refuse to understand how BOGO works and try to get something super expensive for free without spending any money.

I mean, really, guys? You really didn't think the store would see through your brilliant scheme to buy something for 99 cents, and then get a $90 item for free? My favorite is when people aggressively hand me their items in a certain order with the cheaper ones first, as if that's what matters. 

These people genuinely believe that "Buy One, Get One" means that if they buy something, they get to pick out anything they want for free. I've even seen people writing to corporations to complain that BOGO is "a scam" because they weren't able to get their $90 thing for free.

It's not a "Here, Have Some Free Expensive Shit!" sale.

Literally every store ever has done some variation of the BOGO promotion. It always works the same way. This is not rocket math. Buy one thing, get a second thing of equal or lesser value free. You can have a free $90 item if you first buy a $90 item. 

I guess we can chalk this up to things I can't believe people still don't understand, such as the fact that a retailer doesn't produce most, if any, of the products it sells. ("You guys need to stop making those shooter games!!" "Wait, what?") I mean, above all else, the retailer is a business, and it's there to turn a profit. Which leads me to my favorite retail complaint:

"THIS STORE ONLY CARES ABOUT MAKING MONEY!!"

...Yes. That is correct. 

I mean, obviously we shouldn't be ok with companies that profit at the expense of things that matter, like the environment, or human rights. But if your sole issue is that you think a store is greedy and money-grubbing because they won't give you free stuff?

I mean, really, bro?

I should start recording the things these people say and then playing it back for them.