No receipt, no refund... an ongoing saga

My store doesn't do cash refunds without a receipt. Period. If you cannot prove that you bought the item with cash, then you don't get cash back. I really don't understand how this is so difficult for everyone, especially since many of these people buy things with THE FULL INTENTION of returning them a few days later, so why wouldn't you keep the damn receipt!? But I digress.

Some lady came in a couple days after Christmas trying to get cash back for a game. We gave her the usual spiel about how we can't do cash refunds without a receipt, but she was welcome to exchange it for another game. Things escalated quickly.

"WELL, THIS IS SOME GREAT FUCKING CUSTOMER SERVICE," she screamed as she flounced to the door.

"I'M GOING TO TEAR APART MY HOUSE AND FIND THAT RECEIPT AND MAKE YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK."

"Please do," said the Veteran. "If you have the receipt, there's no problem."

"MERRY CHRISTMAS," she yelled, and then- wait for it- she broke the door.

She slammed the door so hard that it broke.

Fortunately, the glass wasn't broken, just the pump that stops it from slamming shut. We only had to suffer through one or two days of the door slamming every time someone used it before it was fixed.

Unfortunately, she never did show up with the receipt, so we never got to go all "Oh heeey, we have you on camera breaking our door! This is me calling the cops! MERRY CHRISTMAS LOL!"

And really, since when does "customer service" entail giving free cash to random members of the public? Need I remind everybody, again, that Buying Stuff is not the same as Putting Your Money In The Bank? And that you don't get to withdraw Money from your Stuff whenever you want?

WHY.

Merry Christmas Eve!

This morning, on my way to work at 6:30 AM, I accidentally shut my hand in my car door. Now it's starting to show bruising.

"My poor fingers are bruising," I said.

"Do you need to put something cold on it? asked Free Shirt. "I can get you some snow and a paper towel."

X-rated shift

A man came into The Store to buy an Xbox 360 for his 7-year-old daughter. As he was looking at games, he asked me:

"Do they make X-rated games yet?"

"Well, they exist- the rating is AO, for "Adults Only"- but there's not a big market for them, because none of the major retailers will carry them."

"So I could go online and buy them?"

"I mean, your daughter would be able to see everything you'd been using the 360 for. She'd be like, "Daddy, what's the XXX achievement?""

"And I'd say, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!""

I still don't know if he was serious or not. He was probably serious- that's the kind of people who shop here.

Later on, a guy was buying a bunch of Skylanders toys, for Christmas presents. They come in bulky, awkward packaging.

"Those must be impossible to gift wrap," I commented.

"Oh, they are. I always make my wife do it."

"That's why I don't have any kids," I said. "I'm terrible at wrapping things."

"Or maybe you don't have any kids because you're really good at wrapping things," he said.

I laughed really hard.

NEW FAVORITE CUSTOMER.

IT'S PRACTICALLY HERE

We just finished hiring all the seasonal people.

Christmas is coming.

I love Christmas, but people get a wee bit irrational the closer we get. And this is the first console launch I've worked, and I've been told that once we're sold out, grandmas will be crying at me all the time. Cool! My grandma would never cry in a store for a video game. If I asked her to wait around in stores to buy me one, she'd be like, "Um, no. You already have too many toys. Go play with your hoop and stick," or something, because my grandma is hardcore.

Anyway.

Last year on Black Friday, we were doing a sale on used games. Sometime in the morning, an elderly woman wandered in because she'd heard about the sale. Ladyboss asked if she could help her find anything.

"THESE ARE ON SALE, RIGHT?" She held up some brand new merch.

"Actually, the sale is only on used items," ladyboss explained. The woman shouted:

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING USED!" and threw all her stuff on the floor. As she was flouncing out of the store, she turned, looked at ladyboss, and growled: 

"You better shape up."

Ladyboss waved and said:

"Have a nice day! Merry Christmas!"

I want this sweater

Been playin' some Bully, because summer vacation just started and I wanted to punch some kids. More importantly, I want this sweater:

Jimmy Hopkins, wearin' a Christmas turtleneck with Rudolph on it.

I WANT THIS SWEATER.