My store doesn't do cash refunds without a receipt. Period. If you cannot prove that you bought the item with cash, then you don't get cash back. I really don't understand how this is so difficult for everyone, especially since many of these people buy things with THE FULL INTENTION of returning them a few days later, so why wouldn't you keep the damn receipt!? But I digress.
Some lady came in a couple days after Christmas trying to get cash back for a game. We gave her the usual spiel about how we can't do cash refunds without a receipt, but she was welcome to exchange it for another game. Things escalated quickly.
"WELL, THIS IS SOME GREAT FUCKING CUSTOMER SERVICE," she screamed as she flounced to the door.
"I'M GOING TO TEAR APART MY HOUSE AND FIND THAT RECEIPT AND MAKE YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK."
"Please do," said the Veteran. "If you have the receipt, there's no problem."
"MERRY CHRISTMAS," she yelled, and then- wait for it- she broke the door.
She slammed the door so hard that it broke.
Fortunately, the glass wasn't broken, just the pump that stops it from slamming shut. We only had to suffer through one or two days of the door slamming every time someone used it before it was fixed.
Unfortunately, she never did show up with the receipt, so we never got to go all "Oh heeey, we have you on camera breaking our door! This is me calling the cops! MERRY CHRISTMAS LOL!"
And really, since when does "customer service" entail giving free cash to random members of the public? Need I remind everybody, again, that Buying Stuff is not the same as Putting Your Money In The Bank? And that you don't get to withdraw Money from your Stuff whenever you want?
WHY.
Showing posts with label Team High Maintenance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Team High Maintenance. Show all posts
Monday, January 13, 2014
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
A thank you would be nice
The other day, I dropped by the store on my day off because I'd left some stuff there. On days where I don't have to go to school or work or hang out with anyone, I generally dress like a hobo. This particular day, I was going to the craft store, so I was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, because when I'm shopping for craft supplies I need to be COMFORTABLE.
I walk in, and Lezzie Free-Shirt is on her own, because bossbro is on break. I arrive at the same time as a ridiculously over-the-top douchey family trying to do an out-of-policy system exchange. That's taking a while, so a crowd is gathering, and Lezzie Free-Shirt is getting visibly frustrated. My store is pretty small-scale, so you're able to do transactions without clocking in. I hopped onto the other register. It's a mom and a little kid.
"Hi," I said. "I'm obviously not working today, because I'm literally wearing sweatpants, but I can ring you out."
The kid just accosted me with Pokémon questions. He wanted to know why Pokémon X and Y didn't come out on the DS, and he wanted to look at all the Pokémon games we have, and then he wanted to complain about how expensive they are. During all this, the mom just stood there and did nothing.
LADY, I AM LITERALLY WEARING MY FUCKING PAJAMAS.
They finally bought Pokémon Platinum and left without thanking me.
Offering to help does not mean you're entitled to my help.
I walk in, and Lezzie Free-Shirt is on her own, because bossbro is on break. I arrive at the same time as a ridiculously over-the-top douchey family trying to do an out-of-policy system exchange. That's taking a while, so a crowd is gathering, and Lezzie Free-Shirt is getting visibly frustrated. My store is pretty small-scale, so you're able to do transactions without clocking in. I hopped onto the other register. It's a mom and a little kid.
"Hi," I said. "I'm obviously not working today, because I'm literally wearing sweatpants, but I can ring you out."
The kid just accosted me with Pokémon questions. He wanted to know why Pokémon X and Y didn't come out on the DS, and he wanted to look at all the Pokémon games we have, and then he wanted to complain about how expensive they are. During all this, the mom just stood there and did nothing.
LADY, I AM LITERALLY WEARING MY FUCKING PAJAMAS.
They finally bought Pokémon Platinum and left without thanking me.
Offering to help does not mean you're entitled to my help.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Today was a doozy
Deadbeat Dadurday is a doozy every week, and I was workin' the Big Daddy Shift (12-9:30), so I was not expecting it to be a great day at work. But wow. Wow.
I had multiple parents come up to me and complain that Pokémon is a huge scam that's ripping them off and ruining their lives. The first mom, I was like, "I think it's taking over her life, not yours."
"NO. NO. IT IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE."
Why, because your daughter sits quietly and plays Pokémon? Ok, player. God forbid these people ever find out about Skylanders, which is just like Pokémon except you have to buy all the monsters in real life instead of catching them in the game.
Not that I consider children's toys a "scam," mind you. Maybe don't have kids next time!
Speaking of Skylanders, I had a guy last week who bought Skylanders Swap Force in a really elaborate manner and then came back today to accuse me of stealing his pre-order deposit. Basically, he'd bought a new system since he pre-ordered the game, and he wanted the game for his new system, but hadn't changed his pre-order. The pre-order bonus for Swap Force was a bonus figurine that only rings up as the freebie price when rung out in the same transaction as a pre-order pickup. So in order to get him his bonus character, I had to have him pick up and pay for his pre-order normally, then do a second transaction to exchange the wrong version of the game for the right version. This kind of thing happens at my job a lot, so I knew what to do and explained what I did as I did it. Of course, Doofus lost the first receipt, and claimed he didn't get his deposit back, so I had to dig through the computer to find it and show it to him.
Do these people ever think to check their bank statements to see that they weren't charged the full amount? It's not my fault you didn't call and update your pre-order and I had to do register gymnastics to get you all the bonuses you're entitled to. Would you rather have not gotten your free character, sir?
Finally, we had the mayor of Team High Maintenance come in right at close to do some shopping for discounted PS3 games. We have about a million different sales running right now, none of which overlap, so he ended up spending forever in the store doing about four purchase-and-return transactions to try to get the best "deal," and whining about it if his $5 used PS3 games didn't look brand new.
The last exchange worked out that he owed me $0.02.
I made him pay it.
IN CONCLUSION: Fuck this shit.
I had multiple parents come up to me and complain that Pokémon is a huge scam that's ripping them off and ruining their lives. The first mom, I was like, "I think it's taking over her life, not yours."
"NO. NO. IT IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE."
Why, because your daughter sits quietly and plays Pokémon? Ok, player. God forbid these people ever find out about Skylanders, which is just like Pokémon except you have to buy all the monsters in real life instead of catching them in the game.
Not that I consider children's toys a "scam," mind you. Maybe don't have kids next time!
Speaking of Skylanders, I had a guy last week who bought Skylanders Swap Force in a really elaborate manner and then came back today to accuse me of stealing his pre-order deposit. Basically, he'd bought a new system since he pre-ordered the game, and he wanted the game for his new system, but hadn't changed his pre-order. The pre-order bonus for Swap Force was a bonus figurine that only rings up as the freebie price when rung out in the same transaction as a pre-order pickup. So in order to get him his bonus character, I had to have him pick up and pay for his pre-order normally, then do a second transaction to exchange the wrong version of the game for the right version. This kind of thing happens at my job a lot, so I knew what to do and explained what I did as I did it. Of course, Doofus lost the first receipt, and claimed he didn't get his deposit back, so I had to dig through the computer to find it and show it to him.
Do these people ever think to check their bank statements to see that they weren't charged the full amount? It's not my fault you didn't call and update your pre-order and I had to do register gymnastics to get you all the bonuses you're entitled to. Would you rather have not gotten your free character, sir?
Finally, we had the mayor of Team High Maintenance come in right at close to do some shopping for discounted PS3 games. We have about a million different sales running right now, none of which overlap, so he ended up spending forever in the store doing about four purchase-and-return transactions to try to get the best "deal," and whining about it if his $5 used PS3 games didn't look brand new.
The last exchange worked out that he owed me $0.02.
I made him pay it.
IN CONCLUSION: Fuck this shit.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Technically, manager isn't in my job title
Here I am, eating lunch, minding my own business, when The Veteran comes back with the phone, because someone insisted on speaking to a manager.
"Thank you for calling [Store], this is [Miss Blog Lady]," I say politely.
"MY NAME IS [BOB]," the guy says urgently. "ONLY A MANAGER CAN HELP ME."
"Ok," I say.
"I BOUGHT A GIFT CARD BUT I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE THE WRONG NAME ON IT. IF I BRING THE CARD IN, CAN I GET A NEW GIFT CARD!?"
For the record, that is not even a slightly complicated problem to fix. It's a transaction that anyone could do after working in any store for twenty minutes, tops.
"Sure, no problem," I say.
"OHMYGOSHTHANKYOU," says [Bob], and he hangs up.
Truly, this day have I used my managerial powers for good.
Friday, August 30, 2013
And yes, she had a smart phone
A woman came in today with a busted up Nintendo DSi, one that clearly belonged to a child.
"My son's birthday is coming up, and we were hoping to trade in his old DSi so we could get some money off of a 3DS," she said.
I'm going to note now that I somehow made it through all of this without ever touching the DSi, which is a small triumph. Nice try, kid germs!
"We can't take it here because it's missing the serial number," I said. She gasps melodramatically. I ignore it. "That's because of [town where we are located] pawn shop laws. They can take non-serialized handhelds in [next town over], though, and we have a store there."
"WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO THE SERIAL NUMBER," she said. "WAS IT HERE? DID IT RUB OFF? CAN I SEE A DSi OF YOURS?" I obligingly pull a DSi out of a cabinet and indicate where the serial number is supposed to be.
"They didn't say anything about that over at [third store location in a totally different area]," she said. "Can they take it without the serial number?"
"If they have a [town where we are located] address, probably not. But [next town over] can definitely take them in trade."
"Where is that?"
"Northeast of here," I said. "The store is right on Route X."
My store is located on route XX.
"Oh, so it's just up the road?" she asks excitedly.
"No, we're on route XX. Route X is the street that goes through downtown [next town over.]"
"I guess I'll just drive back to the store I went to yesterday," she said. The store that is also located in [town where we are located], most likely can't take non-serialized handhelds, and is in the completely opposite direction of [next town over.]
"Ok," I said. "Good luck."
"My son's birthday is coming up, and we were hoping to trade in his old DSi so we could get some money off of a 3DS," she said.
I'm going to note now that I somehow made it through all of this without ever touching the DSi, which is a small triumph. Nice try, kid germs!
"We can't take it here because it's missing the serial number," I said. She gasps melodramatically. I ignore it. "That's because of [town where we are located] pawn shop laws. They can take non-serialized handhelds in [next town over], though, and we have a store there."
"WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO THE SERIAL NUMBER," she said. "WAS IT HERE? DID IT RUB OFF? CAN I SEE A DSi OF YOURS?" I obligingly pull a DSi out of a cabinet and indicate where the serial number is supposed to be.
"They didn't say anything about that over at [third store location in a totally different area]," she said. "Can they take it without the serial number?"
"If they have a [town where we are located] address, probably not. But [next town over] can definitely take them in trade."
"Where is that?"
"Northeast of here," I said. "The store is right on Route X."
My store is located on route XX.
"Oh, so it's just up the road?" she asks excitedly.
"No, we're on route XX. Route X is the street that goes through downtown [next town over.]"
"I guess I'll just drive back to the store I went to yesterday," she said. The store that is also located in [town where we are located], most likely can't take non-serialized handhelds, and is in the completely opposite direction of [next town over.]
"Ok," I said. "Good luck."
Monday, April 8, 2013
Team Awesome
My boss (henceforth "ladyboss") had an unusual habit. Whenever she had to deal with someone especially irritating, she would turn to the nearest employee and say:
"They're on your team."
Eventually, we decided these willy-nilly team accusations were a little disorganized, and so we delineated the teams for easy reference. Each employee is assigned a team, and we now had an effective shorthand code for referring to our problem customers. "That guy's on bossbro's team" is much less suspicious than "I just watched that guy try to shove an entire controller in his pants."
Ok, that'll make more sense when you read a little further.
For your reading pleasure, here are our teams:
1. People who are jerks for no reason.
[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Condescending Wonka meme. "Oh, you're a customer? Please enlighten me on how to do my job correctly."]
Some people are just huge jerks. For example, we have this one regular customer I'm gonna call Michael Bolton, because he shares his name with a celebrity. He's also a huge jerk. It's kind of a chicken-and-egg situation. Was he always a huge jerk? Or did he become a huge jerk because his name is Michael Bolton? We may never know.
Common subtypes: People who demand to speak to a manager just to try to get something for free, people who shout "NOTHING IS FREE!" when offered our free rewards card.
2. People who can't function in public.
[A Basement Dweller meme. "Real life? Never heard of that server."]
These are the people who refuse to ask for help, but just wander aimlessly through the store muttering under their breath about how they can't find what they're looking for. These are the people who ask questions about "FPSes" out loud. The guy who asked his mom to go ask me if I was single? This team. The guy who came into the store in sweatpants, then revealed he wasn't wearing underwear when he bent over to pick something up, thus exposing his enormous, pasty, pock-marked ass? This team.
Lest you think only men can make it onto this illustrious team, don't worry- women are just as bad. Let's talk about the lady who told me she had explosive diarrhea, ran out of the store, then came back half an hour later to shop some more.
Common subtypes: Neckbeards, bronies, anyone who asks you to repeat yourself more than once, people who still write checks.
3. Bros and criminals.
[A photo of a print-out sign from a store. "Shoplifters: Will be thrown into the pit of Carkoon to be digested over 1000 years by the almighty Sarlacc." That's a Star Wars joke. Old school.]
This team combo is efficient, because it covers everyone who hides their weed in their game cases. Seriously, a lot of people do that. After an ordinary day of work, I smell like an ass and I probably have enough of a contact high to get arrested for driving under the influence.
(Psst! This one is bossbro's team.)
Common subtypes: Potheads, drunkards, shoplifters, people who are openly selling their games for beer and/or drug money. People on this team usually travel in packs of three or more.
4. Unattended children and deadbeat parents.
[A tin sign that says "Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten." Darn skippy!]
If your kids are being annoying, what better place to take them than the Free Arcade? At least once a day we have some unleash their spawn on the store for the purpose of "keeping them entertained."
"Can I leave my kid here while I shop elsewhere?"
"Well, we close in five minutes, so as soon as we lock the doors we'll have to call the police to come pick up an abandoned child."
"Can't I just leave him here?"
Common subtypes: All of Deadbeat Dadurday.
5. The Wiiple.
[Some Wiiple. From a collection of hilariously awkward Wii marketing photos posted by Game Informer.]
Now, I get it. People shopping for Wii games are often shopping for little kids, which means they're not the ones using the Wii, so it's understandable that they might be a little clueless. I can deal with the fact that when someone says, "I need to buy a Wii game," there's a 50% chance they're talking about the actual console. But there's something about being out of their element that causes the Wiiple to freak out and have no idea what's going on. It always starts out pretty normal:
"Is this game appropriate for a 6-year-old? Will my daughter be able to play with her friends? What's it called? How much does it cost? Wait, how much does it cost again? What's a Wii game? Who are you? Where am I? What year is it?"
Common subtypes: People who only want bowling games, people who ask for Mario on the Xbox 360.
6. Team High Maintenance.
[An Annoying Customer meme. "Oh, you close in 5 minutes? I'm just going to browse."]
Salespeople exist to help you make purchases.
Salespeople do not exist for you to corner them like an animal and ask a million questions that no normal person would ever memorize the answer to. If you want ridiculously detailed system specs, guess what? We have Google for that. For the love of God, we have Google for that. See, look: I can Google that for you! Otherwise, I'll just read the text on the box that you apparently can't read, and I will judge you so hard.
Salespeople are not personal shoppers. Modern stores are designed specifically for independent browsing. If you're like "Hey, I came here to buy Hyperdimension Neptunia and I can't find it," I will happily find that shit for you. If you're like "Hey, I'm interested in one of these games but I want to know which one is the best game," I will happily give you my opinion. If you're like "Hey, I really like Hyperdimension Neptunia, what other games are like that?" I will offer suggestions. If you're like "Hey, I need you to stand right next to me and give me a full synopsis of every game I touch and haphazardly guess what my 8-year-old son would like the most even though you know nothing about him because I don't know how to Google (Hyperdimension Neptunia) and I have no independent thoughts also could you carry my stuff and hold my hand and stay late," then fuck you.
Common subtypes: People who interrupt you when you're helping someone else, people who freak out when they can't use our bathroom. (We're in between three restaurants and a huge grocery store, all of which have public restrooms.)
Well, those are the teams. More to be added later? Most likely.
"But blog writer lady," you might be saying. "If people figure out they can do all of this on their own, won't you be out of a job?" To which I say:
Whatever. My job is piss.
"They're on your team."
Eventually, we decided these willy-nilly team accusations were a little disorganized, and so we delineated the teams for easy reference. Each employee is assigned a team, and we now had an effective shorthand code for referring to our problem customers. "That guy's on bossbro's team" is much less suspicious than "I just watched that guy try to shove an entire controller in his pants."
Ok, that'll make more sense when you read a little further.
For your reading pleasure, here are our teams:
1. People who are jerks for no reason.
[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Condescending Wonka meme. "Oh, you're a customer? Please enlighten me on how to do my job correctly."]
Some people are just huge jerks. For example, we have this one regular customer I'm gonna call Michael Bolton, because he shares his name with a celebrity. He's also a huge jerk. It's kind of a chicken-and-egg situation. Was he always a huge jerk? Or did he become a huge jerk because his name is Michael Bolton? We may never know.
Common subtypes: People who demand to speak to a manager just to try to get something for free, people who shout "NOTHING IS FREE!" when offered our free rewards card.
[A Basement Dweller meme. "Real life? Never heard of that server."]
These are the people who refuse to ask for help, but just wander aimlessly through the store muttering under their breath about how they can't find what they're looking for. These are the people who ask questions about "FPSes" out loud. The guy who asked his mom to go ask me if I was single? This team. The guy who came into the store in sweatpants, then revealed he wasn't wearing underwear when he bent over to pick something up, thus exposing his enormous, pasty, pock-marked ass? This team.
Lest you think only men can make it onto this illustrious team, don't worry- women are just as bad. Let's talk about the lady who told me she had explosive diarrhea, ran out of the store, then came back half an hour later to shop some more.
Common subtypes: Neckbeards, bronies, anyone who asks you to repeat yourself more than once, people who still write checks.
3. Bros and criminals.
[A photo of a print-out sign from a store. "Shoplifters: Will be thrown into the pit of Carkoon to be digested over 1000 years by the almighty Sarlacc." That's a Star Wars joke. Old school.]
This team combo is efficient, because it covers everyone who hides their weed in their game cases. Seriously, a lot of people do that. After an ordinary day of work, I smell like an ass and I probably have enough of a contact high to get arrested for driving under the influence.
(Psst! This one is bossbro's team.)
Common subtypes: Potheads, drunkards, shoplifters, people who are openly selling their games for beer and/or drug money. People on this team usually travel in packs of three or more.
4. Unattended children and deadbeat parents.
[A tin sign that says "Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten." Darn skippy!]
"Can I leave my kid here while I shop elsewhere?"
"Well, we close in five minutes, so as soon as we lock the doors we'll have to call the police to come pick up an abandoned child."
"Can't I just leave him here?"
Common subtypes: All of Deadbeat Dadurday.
5. The Wiiple.
[Some Wiiple. From a collection of hilariously awkward Wii marketing photos posted by Game Informer.]
Now, I get it. People shopping for Wii games are often shopping for little kids, which means they're not the ones using the Wii, so it's understandable that they might be a little clueless. I can deal with the fact that when someone says, "I need to buy a Wii game," there's a 50% chance they're talking about the actual console. But there's something about being out of their element that causes the Wiiple to freak out and have no idea what's going on. It always starts out pretty normal:
"Is this game appropriate for a 6-year-old? Will my daughter be able to play with her friends? What's it called? How much does it cost? Wait, how much does it cost again? What's a Wii game? Who are you? Where am I? What year is it?"
Common subtypes: People who only want bowling games, people who ask for Mario on the Xbox 360.
6. Team High Maintenance.
[An Annoying Customer meme. "Oh, you close in 5 minutes? I'm just going to browse."]
Salespeople exist to help you make purchases.
Salespeople do not exist for you to corner them like an animal and ask a million questions that no normal person would ever memorize the answer to. If you want ridiculously detailed system specs, guess what? We have Google for that. For the love of God, we have Google for that. See, look: I can Google that for you! Otherwise, I'll just read the text on the box that you apparently can't read, and I will judge you so hard.
Salespeople are not personal shoppers. Modern stores are designed specifically for independent browsing. If you're like "Hey, I came here to buy Hyperdimension Neptunia and I can't find it," I will happily find that shit for you. If you're like "Hey, I'm interested in one of these games but I want to know which one is the best game," I will happily give you my opinion. If you're like "Hey, I really like Hyperdimension Neptunia, what other games are like that?" I will offer suggestions. If you're like "Hey, I need you to stand right next to me and give me a full synopsis of every game I touch and haphazardly guess what my 8-year-old son would like the most even though you know nothing about him because I don't know how to Google (Hyperdimension Neptunia) and I have no independent thoughts also could you carry my stuff and hold my hand and stay late," then fuck you.
Common subtypes: People who interrupt you when you're helping someone else, people who freak out when they can't use our bathroom. (We're in between three restaurants and a huge grocery store, all of which have public restrooms.)
Well, those are the teams. More to be added later? Most likely.
"But blog writer lady," you might be saying. "If people figure out they can do all of this on their own, won't you be out of a job?" To which I say:
Whatever. My job is piss.
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