There's a website called Black Friday Death Count

Black Friday Death Count

Good thing someone's counting, I guess? My job as a cashier should not be hazardous to my bodily safety, but it often is. Register jockeys get threatened with violence all the time.

And someone actually punched bossbro in the face once, but that deserves its own post.

A new evil reveals itself

People have taken to asking me if there are any PS4s available in such a way that I have to say "yes." Such as:

"Are all the PS4s sold out?"

YOU ARE THROWING OFF MY GROOVE, THE PUBLIC. NO NO NO NO NO.

I also made this sign for the door, hoping that the customers would respond to their native language, Internet:

"We are sold out of PS4s and we don't know when we're getting more. Sorry!" with a picture of Grumpy Cat

Results are mixed.

BREAKING NEWS: People still stupid on Facebook

You know what we haven't had in a while?

FACEBOOK REJECTS!

I've got some good ones. Real good. And I'm putting them all in one post, because it's my blog and I can.

Introducing: The TwinShock 3 Controller!

Some kid came into my job recently with a "TwinShock 3" controller, claiming he found it on Amazon.

Check out this gem.

So, the kid comes in with his mom, complaining that one of the buttons stopped working. (I can't imagine why the buttons would stop working on a $10 PS3 controller that was scraped from the bowels of the internet.) So I say the polite version of:

"Well, ma'am, that is a cheap-as-shit controller, so cheap and sucky that not even the most unscrupulous of retailers would be willing to stock it on shelves, hence why you had to scrape it from the internet's bowels."

You know, generally, product pricing isn't a huge scam. If the real version of something is $54.99 and you find a $9.99 knock-off in some internet warehouse, odds are, the $9.99 knock-off is not a very good product. Same goes for all the people who keep trying to sell my store disgusting off-off-off-brand tablets they found on a website they can't remember the name of.

"Will you buy our TwinShock 3 from us?" they asked.

"You literally just told me it doesn't work, so... no."

The kid swore.

Watch out for NERD RAGE!

So, I finished Xenoblade Chronicles, but I haven't written about it yet because I haven't been able to write anything very good. But while I've been trying to do that, a controversy appeared!

Seems that Team Nerd Rage is upset that GameStop (ok, yeah, I'll just say GameStop again) acquired some copies of Xenoblade, and is selling them for $90 a pop. Thus launched a bunch of Wacky Internet Conspiracy Theories about how the top secret GameStop cabal is printing up bootleg copies of Xenoblade in their basement to sell for a million dollars, all while cackling maniacally and twirling their mustaches, or something.

Honestly, I think this is another instance of The Interwebs being enraged by a process they don't understand.

GameStop buys old overstock from publishers and sells it as used all the time. It's really no different from the way they buy old games from the public to resell in the stores, just on a larger scale. The only reason this bothers people is that this time, the "used" price is higher- quite a bit higher- than the old MSRP. Of course, "manufacturer's suggested retail price" doesn't really apply here, because Xenoblade is no longer being manufactured. That said, $90 is not an unfair price.

$90 is what the game costs now.

Everyone saying that GameStop is ridiculous for charging $90 for "old Wii games" is just being disingenuous. Xenoblade is not "some old Wii game"- it's a very specific product, an import with a limited run that's hard to get now. My own copy was only $60 because of layers of employee discounts, and it's a busted old disc that some moron sold to my store that didn't come with a case. If GameStop had dropped the selling price back to $50 after buying up new stock, all the copies they have would have all been bought up by scalpers in a heartbeat, because the established market value of the game is much higher than that. And then everyone would be whining about how GameStop sells to scalpers. (A common complaint with Skylanders figurines.)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: GameStop (and other video game stores) are not some sort of gamer charity. They're a business, specifically in the business of selling video games for profit. If you, Angry Internet Nerd, were to go try to sell your copy of Xenoblade online, it's unlikely that you would ask less than $100 for it, unless you're stupid, or you need it to sell really fast. Why do people always expect corporations to be more altruistic than they themselves would be? If anything, you should expect the opposite.

Low supply and high demand means it's a seller's market, and GameStop can charge whatever they want to. (Of course, their ability to negotiate bulk purchases with publishers is a direct result of their size and buying power. If that's your issue, then buy from local shops. But then you'd probably complain that they charge more than GameStop, because you're an ass.) If you don't like it, don't buy the game from them. If no one buys it, the price will drop. Surprise! Also, since for now at least you can buy Xenoblade for $90 at an actual store, the eBay prices may drop somewhat.

Of course, that doesn't address the Wacky Conspiracy Theory issue, so let's do that, too. A subset of particularly intense Angry Gamer Nerds seem to have decided that GameStop has begun ZOMG reprinting Xenoblade Chronicles, an idea so stupid I'm embarrassed to write it on my blog.

GameStop is not printing up new copies of Xenoblade Chronicles.

First of all, they don't have the infrastructure for that, they're a retailer. Secondly, the Angry Gamer Nerds are correct in their assertion that doing that is illegal. Like, super mega illegal. Nintendo and The Law would be all up in GameStop's business in a heartbeat. I think these people assume that since GameStop had exclusive rights to sell retail copies of Xenoblade Chronicles in the United States, they're also a publisher? Because, no.

Now, Nintendo can do a reprint. But if Nintendo were doing a reprint, they would have made way more than a couple thousand copies, and they would be selling it themselves through their online store again. After all, everyone knows the game is in high demand. It's just not in high enough demand among a wide enough array of people for Nintendo to justify doing a re-release at this time. "Angry JRPG nerds" were barely enough of a market to get the game released in the US in the first place.

Is it kinda douchey to negotiate a large purchase of a product and then price the stock so high? Yes. But the moral of the story, I guess, is that I hate uninformed internet nerd rage more than I hate GameStop, and working in retail has given me little to no patience for people who willfully don't understand how retail works. I also have no patience for people who think they're entitled to rare, luxury items for cheap. When I can't afford something, I don't make up conspiracy theories about how the seller is out to get me.

I just don't buy that thing.

And yet somehow, despite this terrible hardship, I manage to carry on.