Woman bought four games, for $40, $40, $25, and $10. She has a $30 in-store credit. I told her her total after tax was $100. She pays me, leaves, and immediately comes back.
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO APPLY MY CREDIT."
Given that 40 + 40 + 25 + 10 > 100, I'd say I ALREADY DID, MA'AM.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Really, bro?
A guy just came in to return a DS because he claimed it wasn't able to charge, because the charge light wouldn't stay lit.
We had to explain to him that the charge light goes out when the battery is done charging.
There's a website called Black Friday Death Count
Black Friday Death Count
Good thing someone's counting, I guess? My job as a cashier should not be hazardous to my bodily safety, but it often is. Register jockeys get threatened with violence all the time.
And someone actually punched bossbro in the face once, but that deserves its own post.
Good thing someone's counting, I guess? My job as a cashier should not be hazardous to my bodily safety, but it often is. Register jockeys get threatened with violence all the time.
And someone actually punched bossbro in the face once, but that deserves its own post.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Black Friday is a scam
There's plenty of internet out there about how Black Friday deals are basically the worst, especially on big-ticket items. Last night I was at the store until 11 P.M. unloading all the cheap Black Friday garbage that corporate is eager to unload on the public this year. My personal favorite is our returning door buster $60 tablet that's so cheaply made that it doesn't even have a real manufacturer's warranty.
Because I want to be that fancy blogger who links to The Wall Street Journal, enjoy this link to The Wall Street Journal:
The Dirty Secret of Black Friday 'Discounts'
We run into this a lot with video games- basically all new releases are $60, even the ones that shouldn't be, because $60 is What A New Game Costs and they have to milk as much money out of their crap as they can. Many non-A-list games will go "on sale" for $10 or $20 off mere weeks after they came out, which is preeeeetty irritating when you're the one changing the price tags. (And is one of the reasons I generally only buy Nintendo products, which don't have silly price fluctuations, except for the 3DS that one time LOL.)
Of course, as the article mentions, when stores try to go from the misleading inflated-prices-and-sales format to a more honest everyday-low-price format, people stop shopping there. Retailers are stuck in a cycle of artificially jacking up prices so they can afford crazy markdowns, because people would rather buy stuff off the sale rack. Is it because they think something's better quality if it's priced higher? I dunno.
Other things people complain about, like not including sales tax in the price or pricing everything at $9,999.99 instead of $10,000.00 and so on, is just more nonsense that retailers have come up with to make things look more competitively priced than they are. And you know why they keep doing it?
Because it works.
USians have voted with their wallets, and they said: "We want misleading sale nonsense!" Now we're all stuck with it.
It was this post or a long, profane screed about how much I hate the concept of "deals," because DEALS ARE A LIE.
Because I want to be that fancy blogger who links to The Wall Street Journal, enjoy this link to The Wall Street Journal:
The Dirty Secret of Black Friday 'Discounts'
Here's how it works, according to one industry consultant describing an actual sweater sold at a major retailer. A supplier sells the sweater to a retailer for roughly $14.50. The suggested retail price is $50, which gives the retailer a roughly 70% markup. A few sweaters sell at that price, but more sell at the first markdown of $44.99, and the bulk sell at the final discount price of $21.99. That produces an average unit retail price of $28 and gives the store about a 45% gross margin on the product.
Retailers didn't always price this way. It used to be that most items were sold at full price, with a limited number of sales to clear unsold inventory. That began to change in the 1970s and 1980s, when a rash of store openings intensified competition and forced retailers to look for new ways to stand out.
We run into this a lot with video games- basically all new releases are $60, even the ones that shouldn't be, because $60 is What A New Game Costs and they have to milk as much money out of their crap as they can. Many non-A-list games will go "on sale" for $10 or $20 off mere weeks after they came out, which is preeeeetty irritating when you're the one changing the price tags. (And is one of the reasons I generally only buy Nintendo products, which don't have silly price fluctuations, except for the 3DS that one time LOL.)
Of course, as the article mentions, when stores try to go from the misleading inflated-prices-and-sales format to a more honest everyday-low-price format, people stop shopping there. Retailers are stuck in a cycle of artificially jacking up prices so they can afford crazy markdowns, because people would rather buy stuff off the sale rack. Is it because they think something's better quality if it's priced higher? I dunno.
Other things people complain about, like not including sales tax in the price or pricing everything at $9,999.99 instead of $10,000.00 and so on, is just more nonsense that retailers have come up with to make things look more competitively priced than they are. And you know why they keep doing it?
Because it works.
USians have voted with their wallets, and they said: "We want misleading sale nonsense!" Now we're all stuck with it.
It was this post or a long, profane screed about how much I hate the concept of "deals," because DEALS ARE A LIE.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Fuck this guy
According to his fbook profile picture, this person is an ADULT MAN. We ran a small child out for trying to do this recently:
"Thank you to the worker name [redacted] at my local [redacted] for excepting my money in all pennies which we counted on the front desk so i can get GTA5. Than you for taking your time to count 60k+ pennies" ]
 |
[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A Facebook post with pictures, names, and places blocked out.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
This is what you get for trying to be funny at me
A conversation I just had with Free-Shirt, submitted without comment:
"Sure."
"Why did the bear get fired from his job?" she asked. Pause. "Because he wasn't koala-fied!"
Long pause.
"Koalas aren't bears."
PS4 round-up
One week into the PS4. No one who bought it at our store has had any technical problems, so either 1. our customers are smarter than the average bear, 2. the failure reports are overblown, or 3. both. (We had a ton of people when the Wii U launched who turned it off while it was updating and then didn't understand why it stopped working. USER ERROR USER ERROR USER ERROR)
Friend of the blog Ms. Susan Strong picked up her PS4 at my store, but she wasn't going to be able to make it until after midnight, so in exchange for booze and eggnog, my dad took her gift cards and came in before midnight to finalize payment. He waited patiently among the mega-nerds until he reached my register, at which point he yelled:
"DO YOU HAVE ANY GAMES FOR THE ATARI 2600!?"
#shitmydadsays
Friend of the blog Ms. Susan Strong picked up her PS4 at my store, but she wasn't going to be able to make it until after midnight, so in exchange for booze and eggnog, my dad took her gift cards and came in before midnight to finalize payment. He waited patiently among the mega-nerds until he reached my register, at which point he yelled:
"DO YOU HAVE ANY GAMES FOR THE ATARI 2600!?"
#shitmydadsays
Two refreshing tales of honesty
For the first time in my long tenure as a register jockey at the game store, somebody actually brought back what they stole. A kid had grabbed a bunch of DS games, and her mom dragged her back into the store and told me:
"I THINK MY DAUGHTER WOULD LIKE TO BUY SOMETHING."
I was like, whoa. You're new at this, aren't you? I've never seen an honest customer before.
Around the same time, a teenager came in with his grandma and was looking at used 360s. As we may remember from my super helpful guide, there are a couple different models of 360. The kid of course grabbed the cheapest one and came up to the register.
"What are you planning on using the 360 for?" I asked.
"To play games," the kid said, like I was stupid.
"Which games are you planning on playing?"
"I dunno."
"This model doesn't come with any memory or wireless internet capability- you would have to buy those separately. The next-most-expensive model comes with 4 GB of flash memory and a built-in wireless adapter, but some games require a full hard drive. The next-next-most-expensive model comes with a built-in wireless adapter and a 250 GB hard drive."
The teenager stared at me blankly.
"Ok, I'm not doing this," said Grandma. "Figure out what you're buying and come back with your parents."
I wanted to give her a high-five. THANK YOU FOR NOT BUYING THE WRONG THING AND THEN RETURNING IT BECAUSE I HATE THAT! YOU ARE MY HERO, RANDOM GRANDMA! I WISH EVERY CUSTOMER WAS YOU!
I like the good customers.
"I THINK MY DAUGHTER WOULD LIKE TO BUY SOMETHING."
I was like, whoa. You're new at this, aren't you? I've never seen an honest customer before.
Around the same time, a teenager came in with his grandma and was looking at used 360s. As we may remember from my super helpful guide, there are a couple different models of 360. The kid of course grabbed the cheapest one and came up to the register.
"What are you planning on using the 360 for?" I asked.
"To play games," the kid said, like I was stupid.
"Which games are you planning on playing?"
"I dunno."
"This model doesn't come with any memory or wireless internet capability- you would have to buy those separately. The next-most-expensive model comes with 4 GB of flash memory and a built-in wireless adapter, but some games require a full hard drive. The next-next-most-expensive model comes with a built-in wireless adapter and a 250 GB hard drive."
The teenager stared at me blankly.
"Ok, I'm not doing this," said Grandma. "Figure out what you're buying and come back with your parents."
I wanted to give her a high-five. THANK YOU FOR NOT BUYING THE WRONG THING AND THEN RETURNING IT BECAUSE I HATE THAT! YOU ARE MY HERO, RANDOM GRANDMA! I WISH EVERY CUSTOMER WAS YOU!
I like the good customers.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
On the subject of hard drives
Today, a man came in to buy Grand Theft Auto V. Much like many other games that have come out this year, GTA V requires a partial install to play. So, I ask this guy if he has 8 GB of free space on his system.
"What's the basic amount?"
"...4 GB," I said.
"Yeah, I had one of those hard drives but I sold it to some kid." Super. "I can't play Grand Theft Auto at all?"
"No. It requires an 8 GB install."
"Why!?"
"Game developers have hit the limit of what the 360 can do," I said. "GTA V is too big a game to run off of a disc. You can't even play Battlefield 4 without a real hard drive. "
"How can they do that!?"
"...it's not their fault that you sold your hard drive."
He ended up buying GTA V and a 16 GB flash drive, only to return twenty minutes later to return it because he "couldn't justify spending that much."
"I'd rather just put that money towards a One," he said.
"You can't play Grand Theft Auto V on an Xbox One," I said. If he understood me or cared, he didn't show it.
And, naturally, he paid with a Visa gift card, so we got to go through the whole song and dance about how Visa gift cards aren't refundable as Visa gift cards. Hooray!
"What's the basic amount?"
"...4 GB," I said.
"Yeah, I had one of those hard drives but I sold it to some kid." Super. "I can't play Grand Theft Auto at all?"
"No. It requires an 8 GB install."
"Why!?"
"Game developers have hit the limit of what the 360 can do," I said. "GTA V is too big a game to run off of a disc. You can't even play Battlefield 4 without a real hard drive. "
"How can they do that!?"
"...it's not their fault that you sold your hard drive."
He ended up buying GTA V and a 16 GB flash drive, only to return twenty minutes later to return it because he "couldn't justify spending that much."
"I'd rather just put that money towards a One," he said.
"You can't play Grand Theft Auto V on an Xbox One," I said. If he understood me or cared, he didn't show it.
And, naturally, he paid with a Visa gift card, so we got to go through the whole song and dance about how Visa gift cards aren't refundable as Visa gift cards. Hooray!
Stop asking me for the internet
"PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I CAN GET THE INTERNET ON MY WII."
"Uh, yeah, you can."
"HOW DO I DO THAT?"
Now, less experienced register jockeys would start going into the settings on the Wii, but not I.
"Do you have an internet connection? Like, do you have internet in your house?"
"I CAN DO THE INTERNET ON MY PHONE."
"That's probably 3G- the Wii only connects to WiFi. So, you would need an internet connection and a wireless router."
"DO YOU SELL THAT HERE?"
"No, we don't sell... internet hook-up supplies."
In hindsight, depending on her phone plan, it might be possible for her to set up a WiFi hot spot using her phone, but I would have no idea how to explain that to somebody.
Monday, November 18, 2013
And the winners keep on rolling
Today I got a call from someone who had an Xbox One preordered at the store. He wanted to know how long we could hold it for him, since he "spent all his money at the bar last night" and didn't know when he was getting paid next.
SOLUTION: He should team up with the food stamps guy and have wacky sitcom adventures that end with neither of them getting a next-gen console.
SOLUTION: He should team up with the food stamps guy and have wacky sitcom adventures that end with neither of them getting a next-gen console.
Frequently asked questions
Today, I, Miss Blog Lady, am going to take some time out of my very busy life to answer a burning question I've gotten from many a reader.
Q: Why are you using Blogger and not Tumblr?
A: Because Tumblr is for porn.
The end.
Q: Why are you using Blogger and not Tumblr?
A: Because Tumblr is for porn.
The end.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
A new evil reveals itself
People have taken to asking me if there are any PS4s available in such a way that I have to say "yes." Such as:
"Are all the PS4s sold out?"
YOU ARE THROWING OFF MY GROOVE, THE PUBLIC. NO NO NO NO NO.
I also made this sign for the door, hoping that the customers would respond to their native language, Internet:
Results are mixed.
"Are all the PS4s sold out?"
YOU ARE THROWING OFF MY GROOVE, THE PUBLIC. NO NO NO NO NO.
I also made this sign for the door, hoping that the customers would respond to their native language, Internet:
 |
| "We are sold out of PS4s and we don't know when we're getting more. Sorry!" with a picture of Grumpy Cat |
It's been a rough couple of weeks at Blogger HQ, with the PS4 coming out. I've taken to answering all questions in the simplest way possible, because repetition is making my voice hurt.
"Do you have any PS4s?"
"No."
"Do you know anyone else who has PS4s?"
"No."
"Do you know when you're getting more PS4s?"
"No."
"Can you call me when there's more PS4s?"
"No."
The prize for "most desperate call yet" goes to the guy who, on the night of the release, called the store and asked if we could give him a PS4 in exchange for $500 in food stamps.
"...................No."
"Do you have any PS4s?"
"No."
"Do you know anyone else who has PS4s?"
"No."
"Do you know when you're getting more PS4s?"
"No."
"Can you call me when there's more PS4s?"
"No."
The prize for "most desperate call yet" goes to the guy who, on the night of the release, called the store and asked if we could give him a PS4 in exchange for $500 in food stamps.
"...................No."
Monday, November 11, 2013
"Get out."
A normal-looking middle-aged man came in and walked to the register, where he had the misfortune of encountering ladyboss.
"Hey," he said. "Can I buy all your extra Xbox Ones? I want to sell them on eBay."
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out."
He left quickly.
"Hey," he said. "Can I buy all your extra Xbox Ones? I want to sell them on eBay."
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out."
He left quickly.
But WHO'S ON FIRST!?
The other day, we had some Wiiple trying to return a Wii remote because they claimed it didn't work, when really the issue was that they hadn't synced it. This happens all the time. So I opened up the Wiimote to show them where the sync button is.
"See this red button here? There's an identical button on the front of the Wii, inside the panel next to the disc slot. All you need to do is push those the buttons at the same time." The girl asked,
"So, what do I push on the Wii?"
Pause.
"There's a panel on the front of the Wii, next to the disc tray. When you open it, you'll see a red button that looks just like this one."
"Red... you mean the power button?"
"No. There's a panel on the front of the Wii. When you open it, you'll see a red button that looks just like this one."
"But what do I push on the Wii?"
"There's a panel on the front of the Wii. When you open it, you'll see a red button that looks just like this one."
"NO. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I PUSH ON THE WII."
"That's what I'm telling you," I said, tired of repeating myself. "There is a panel on the front of the Wii. When you open it, you will see a red button that looks just like this one. That is the button that you push."
"Oooohhhhhh," she said. She and her mom left to pick out a game. The mom came back almost immediately.
"Can you explain that again?"
"The directions are in the box."
"See this red button here? There's an identical button on the front of the Wii, inside the panel next to the disc slot. All you need to do is push those the buttons at the same time." The girl asked,
"So, what do I push on the Wii?"
Pause.
"There's a panel on the front of the Wii, next to the disc tray. When you open it, you'll see a red button that looks just like this one."
"Red... you mean the power button?"
"No. There's a panel on the front of the Wii. When you open it, you'll see a red button that looks just like this one."
"But what do I push on the Wii?"
"There's a panel on the front of the Wii. When you open it, you'll see a red button that looks just like this one."
"NO. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I PUSH ON THE WII."
"That's what I'm telling you," I said, tired of repeating myself. "There is a panel on the front of the Wii. When you open it, you will see a red button that looks just like this one. That is the button that you push."
"Oooohhhhhh," she said. She and her mom left to pick out a game. The mom came back almost immediately.
"Can you explain that again?"
"The directions are in the box."
Thursday, November 7, 2013
On the subject of people thinking different chain stores have a hive mind
There are certain things we can't share between stores. Pre-orders are a big one. If you put down a deposit on something, that deposit is tied to the specific location. It's done that way for security and inventory reasons. Of course, the customers are never happy when we take precautions to protect their money.
I wasn't there for the first part of the fight, but apparently some loser got in a huge fight with The Veteran because he couldn't find his preorder. The first question is always, "Did you do the pre-order at another store? We can't share pre-order information between stores." Regardless, this guy did another pre-order for Ghosts, and left. Apparently.
He came back, rage-ablazin', during the Ghosts midnight release.
"I FOUND MY RECEIPT!" he shouted. "THAT GUY HERE BEFORE TOLD ME HE COULDN'T FIND MY PRE-ORDER BUT I FOUND MY RECEIPT."
He triumphantly threw the receipt down in front of me. I glanced at it.
"I KNEW I DID IT HERE. I DID THE PRE-ORDER RIGHT HERE."
"This is a receipt for [store on the other side of town]," I said flatly, pointing to the store name and address printed at the top of the receipt.
".......oh."
"Did he tell you we can't look up pre-orders from other stores?"
"........."
"Would you still like to pick up Ghosts?"
".....yeah."
I wasn't there for the first part of the fight, but apparently some loser got in a huge fight with The Veteran because he couldn't find his preorder. The first question is always, "Did you do the pre-order at another store? We can't share pre-order information between stores." Regardless, this guy did another pre-order for Ghosts, and left. Apparently.
He came back, rage-ablazin', during the Ghosts midnight release.
"I FOUND MY RECEIPT!" he shouted. "THAT GUY HERE BEFORE TOLD ME HE COULDN'T FIND MY PRE-ORDER BUT I FOUND MY RECEIPT."
He triumphantly threw the receipt down in front of me. I glanced at it.
"I KNEW I DID IT HERE. I DID THE PRE-ORDER RIGHT HERE."
"This is a receipt for [store on the other side of town]," I said flatly, pointing to the store name and address printed at the top of the receipt.
".......oh."
"Did he tell you we can't look up pre-orders from other stores?"
"........."
"Would you still like to pick up Ghosts?"
".....yeah."
"I THOUGHT THIS XBOX CAME WITH THE INTERNET!"
"I thought this Xbox came with the internet!" is our go-to joke stupid-question-that-customers-ask.
"Oh, I have a really silly question- can I hook my 360 up to a standard definition TV?"
"Yes, you can! And believe me, that's not a silly question at all. We get people complaining because they thought their Xbox came with the internet."
One of my first customers ever was a woman who didn't understand why her DSi couldn't connect to the internet in her internet-free home. (At least a DSi is a handheld, though, so someone who doesn't understand the difference between WiFi and 3G could get it confused with their phone service.) I haven't had an "I THOUGHT THIS XBOX CAME WITH THE INTERNET!" person for a while, so I don't think there are any posts about it on this blog. But never fear, my friends!
THE STREAK HAS BEEN BROKEN!
I got a phone call yesterday from a gentleman who had bought an Xbox and a subscription to Xbox Live. He had screaming kids in the background, and I'm pretty sure he was talking on speaker, which makes every phone call great. He told me he couldn't figure out how to redeem the code on the Xbox Live card.
"The directions for how to redeem the code are printed on the card," I said. As are the words, I might add, "broadband internet required."
"IT KEEPS TELLING ME TO GET A MODEM OR A ROUTER OR SOMETHING," he shouted.
Pause.
"Do you have an internet connection in your house?"
"NO. THEY DIDN'T TELL ME I NEEDED ONE."
Pause.
"You can't use internet services without an internet connection."
"THEY TOLD ME I COULD GET MY NETFLIX ON HERE."
"...you need an internet connection to stream Netflix. It's an internet service."
"MAN, THIS IS MESSED UP."
No it's not.
"WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME I NEEDED INTERNET FOR NETFLIX!?"
Long pause. Total silence. Resisting the urge to say "because I'm sure they thought they didn't have to."
"WHAT CAN I DO WITH THIS LIVE WITH NO INTERNET!?"
Pause.
"Literally nothing. Xbox Live is the name of the 360's internet service."
"I BET I CAN'T EVEN RETURN THIS."
"What store did you get it from?"
"YOURS!"
"The [location] location?"
"YEAH!"
"If you have your receipt and it's been less than thirty days, we can give you a refund," I said.
He never showed, which means he either lied outright when he said he got it at our location, or he doesn't understand that different stores in the same chain are run by different people, and don't have some sort of hive mind. Either way, I'm sure the other store was thrilled to deal with him while he ranted about how some lady on the other side of town told him he could have a refund if he brought his receipt.
"Oh, I have a really silly question- can I hook my 360 up to a standard definition TV?"
"Yes, you can! And believe me, that's not a silly question at all. We get people complaining because they thought their Xbox came with the internet."
One of my first customers ever was a woman who didn't understand why her DSi couldn't connect to the internet in her internet-free home. (At least a DSi is a handheld, though, so someone who doesn't understand the difference between WiFi and 3G could get it confused with their phone service.) I haven't had an "I THOUGHT THIS XBOX CAME WITH THE INTERNET!" person for a while, so I don't think there are any posts about it on this blog. But never fear, my friends!
THE STREAK HAS BEEN BROKEN!
I got a phone call yesterday from a gentleman who had bought an Xbox and a subscription to Xbox Live. He had screaming kids in the background, and I'm pretty sure he was talking on speaker, which makes every phone call great. He told me he couldn't figure out how to redeem the code on the Xbox Live card.
"The directions for how to redeem the code are printed on the card," I said. As are the words, I might add, "broadband internet required."
"IT KEEPS TELLING ME TO GET A MODEM OR A ROUTER OR SOMETHING," he shouted.
Pause.
"Do you have an internet connection in your house?"
"NO. THEY DIDN'T TELL ME I NEEDED ONE."
Pause.
"You can't use internet services without an internet connection."
"THEY TOLD ME I COULD GET MY NETFLIX ON HERE."
"...you need an internet connection to stream Netflix. It's an internet service."
"MAN, THIS IS MESSED UP."
No it's not.
"WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME I NEEDED INTERNET FOR NETFLIX!?"
Long pause. Total silence. Resisting the urge to say "because I'm sure they thought they didn't have to."
"WHAT CAN I DO WITH THIS LIVE WITH NO INTERNET!?"
Pause.
"Literally nothing. Xbox Live is the name of the 360's internet service."
"I BET I CAN'T EVEN RETURN THIS."
"What store did you get it from?"
"YOURS!"
"The [location] location?"
"YEAH!"
"If you have your receipt and it's been less than thirty days, we can give you a refund," I said.
He never showed, which means he either lied outright when he said he got it at our location, or he doesn't understand that different stores in the same chain are run by different people, and don't have some sort of hive mind. Either way, I'm sure the other store was thrilled to deal with him while he ranted about how some lady on the other side of town told him he could have a refund if he brought his receipt.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
CODBLOPSBIES
In honor of Call of Duty day, here is a text conversation I had with High Maintenance Roommate last night:
UM, JUST KIDDING! I could NEVER get a second kitty when my first one is so cute!
Ok, yeah, my roommates have a kitten, too.
Don't worry about it.
 |
| An iPhone text conversation. Transcript is below. |
UM, JUST KIDDING! I could NEVER get a second kitty when my first one is so cute!
 |
| A picture of Valenbaby cuddling with another kitten on the back of a chair. |
Ok, yeah, my roommates have a kitten, too.
Don't worry about it.
Call of Duty is here
Got home from the midnight release. It was surprisingly calm, as was the double release for Battlefield 4 and Assassin's Creed IV. I have a creeping sense of dread that everyone's waiting to buy all this crap for the new consoles, a week from now.
If I get mauled by holiday shoppers, tell my family that I love them.
We have a sort of tradition at my store where we give out prizes to people who know our names. Sometimes we have real trivia, or a raffle, but we always do the super secret special trivia question:
"WHAT IS MY NAME?"
Our names print at the top of every receipt for every transaction we do, so even if we're not wearing name tags, it's easy to find if you think about it. And all of us except The Veteran have extremely common names. Besides, it's a fun Get To Know Your Game Store Register Jockey activity, and it's all in good fun.
None of the people in the first line group knew who I was. It's the Call of Duty people- they come in once a year.
"It's a really common name," I hinted. "Really common." Someone guessed it almost immediately. We gave him his prize- a Call of Duty tchotchke. He didn't even want it, so he gave it to a kid in line. And while all this is happening, an older gentleman in the front shouts:
"THAT IS NOT A COMMON NAME."
Trust me when I say I have a common name. There were at least three of me in every class growing up.
"It is for people my age," I said. "It was the number one girl's name in the country every year for over a decade in the 80s and 90s." He grumbled a bit, took his game, and left.
On the plus side, almost everyone in that first group thanked me by name when I handed them their games. It was actually really sweet.
Thanks, customers! You're all right.
Even if you do play Call of Duty.
If I get mauled by holiday shoppers, tell my family that I love them.
We have a sort of tradition at my store where we give out prizes to people who know our names. Sometimes we have real trivia, or a raffle, but we always do the super secret special trivia question:
"WHAT IS MY NAME?"
Our names print at the top of every receipt for every transaction we do, so even if we're not wearing name tags, it's easy to find if you think about it. And all of us except The Veteran have extremely common names. Besides, it's a fun Get To Know Your Game Store Register Jockey activity, and it's all in good fun.
None of the people in the first line group knew who I was. It's the Call of Duty people- they come in once a year.
"It's a really common name," I hinted. "Really common." Someone guessed it almost immediately. We gave him his prize- a Call of Duty tchotchke. He didn't even want it, so he gave it to a kid in line. And while all this is happening, an older gentleman in the front shouts:
"THAT IS NOT A COMMON NAME."
Trust me when I say I have a common name. There were at least three of me in every class growing up.
"It is for people my age," I said. "It was the number one girl's name in the country every year for over a decade in the 80s and 90s." He grumbled a bit, took his game, and left.
On the plus side, almost everyone in that first group thanked me by name when I handed them their games. It was actually really sweet.
Thanks, customers! You're all right.
Even if you do play Call of Duty.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Apparently the new Batman game is too hard for the bros
FULL DISCLOSURE: I have not played Batman: Arkham Origins, nor have I played Arkham Asylum or Arkham City (even though I know the ending.) I can't personally attest to the difficulty level. Ladyboss has been playing the game like a maniac, though, and she commented on how hard some of the boss fights were- there were a few she had to do twice. So, you know, there's some level of skill involved.
Because it's a game that requires some level of skill, everybro has been bringing it back to the store to complain about how terrible it is.
One particular repeat-offense bro who also traded in Assassin's Creed IV because he got stuck somewhere came in today to also trade in Arkham Origins.
"This game is terrible!" he complained, tossing it on the counter.
"Why is it terrible?"
"It's too hard! Why is it so hard? Kids can't play that!"
"Well, most games aren't really designed with kids in mind," I said. "The average gamer is in their 30s."
"It's too hard! I got stuck in Assassin's Creed, and now I'm stuck in Arkham!"
"So, you're trading in the new Batman game because it was too hard for you?" I asked.
Pause.
"Well, you know, it's not that it was hard," he said. "It was just difficult."
Well, that clears that up.
Because it's a game that requires some level of skill, everybro has been bringing it back to the store to complain about how terrible it is.
One particular repeat-offense bro who also traded in Assassin's Creed IV because he got stuck somewhere came in today to also trade in Arkham Origins.
"This game is terrible!" he complained, tossing it on the counter.
"Why is it terrible?"
"It's too hard! Why is it so hard? Kids can't play that!"
"Well, most games aren't really designed with kids in mind," I said. "The average gamer is in their 30s."
"It's too hard! I got stuck in Assassin's Creed, and now I'm stuck in Arkham!"
"So, you're trading in the new Batman game because it was too hard for you?" I asked.
Pause.
"Well, you know, it's not that it was hard," he said. "It was just difficult."
Well, that clears that up.
I'm really tired of angry old people who don't understand gift cards
A grandparent came into the store to buy a gift card.
"I WANT A GIFT CARD," he shouted. Now, we have a lot of different gift cards with different pictures on them. In particular, we have "Happy Birthday!" gift cards, and of course we just got all of our holiday gift cards. So, my coworker asks:
"What's the occasion?"
"I WANT A GIFT CARD. SO HE CAN SPEND MONEY HERE," the angry old guy yells, as if it's the register jockey who doesn't understand how a gift card works.
At non-Christmas times, when people buy gift cards, I always ask whose birthday it is. And then they look at me like I am a goddamn wizard and ask how I knew it was someone's birthday. And I always say:
"Why else would you be buying a gift card?"
The embarrassment on their faces fuels my soul.
"I WANT A GIFT CARD," he shouted. Now, we have a lot of different gift cards with different pictures on them. In particular, we have "Happy Birthday!" gift cards, and of course we just got all of our holiday gift cards. So, my coworker asks:
"What's the occasion?"
"I WANT A GIFT CARD. SO HE CAN SPEND MONEY HERE," the angry old guy yells, as if it's the register jockey who doesn't understand how a gift card works.
At non-Christmas times, when people buy gift cards, I always ask whose birthday it is. And then they look at me like I am a goddamn wizard and ask how I knew it was someone's birthday. And I always say:
"Why else would you be buying a gift card?"
The embarrassment on their faces fuels my soul.
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