Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day at the video game store is a depressing parade of assholes-in-training forcing their moms to go out and buy them expensive toys on the one day that's supposed to be about mothers. So, I'm not going to write about that.

Contrary to public opinion, I do, in fact, have a mother, and she's pretty great. Her birthday's in a couple weeks, though, so I'll save my mom-talk for then.  I'm not writing about her today, either.

Because Mother's Day is a significant date in the work history of Miss Blog Lady.

Mother's Day, 2005 was the first- and only!- time I ever cried because of a customer.

When I was 16, my family filed for bankruptcy, and I went out and got my very first crappy service job as a waitress at one of those super cheap sit-down "family" restaurants. (Oh, the waitress stories.) They were always on us about up-selling drinks and desserts on top of meals. So, this particular Mother's Day, an older gentleman gets put in my section. The meal happens without any difficulty.

"Would you like to order any dessert today? It's Mother's Day!" I asked, like a good little corporate stooge, while clearing up his plates.

"WELL, I'M NOT A MOTHER," said Grumpy Old Man.

"Do you have any kids?" I asked.

"MY WIFE IS DEAD."

"Uh... oh, gosh. I'm so sorry," I said. The awkwardness was tangible. He grumbled some more.

"STRAWBERRY SUNDAE."

"Uh... ok," I said, with a chipper teenage waitress smile, and I went back and put it in. A couple minutes later, I bring out his sundae.

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE ORDERED THIS," yelled Grumpy Old Man, as if the fact that he asked me for a sundae was somehow my fault.

Then he complained to my manager and didn't leave me a tip.

I was young. I'd been working for less than two months. I didn't know yet that customers will find any excuse to blame their own problems on service people. So, I went in the back room and cried, because some mean old guy who's ok with screaming at kids was triggered into a frothy rage by my smalltalk about the holiday.

Nowadays when people yell nonsense at me I just give them my "no one cares" face and tell them that no one's making them shop at my store. "You tryin' to rattle me? Please. I got that business out of my system when I was 16."

So- Happy Mother's Day, blog readers! Celebrate as you see fit.

Just don't go to a cheap restaurant and scream at the server about your dead wife.

(P.S. I love you, mom.)