"I THOUGHT THIS XBOX CAME WITH THE INTERNET!"

"I thought this Xbox came with the internet!" is our go-to joke stupid-question-that-customers-ask.

"Oh, I have a really silly question- can I hook my 360 up to a standard definition TV?"

"Yes, you can! And believe me, that's not a silly question at all. We get people complaining because they thought their Xbox came with the internet."

One of my first customers ever was a woman who didn't understand why her DSi couldn't connect to the internet in her internet-free home. (At least a DSi is a handheld, though, so someone who doesn't understand the difference between WiFi and 3G could get it confused with their phone service.) I haven't had an "I THOUGHT THIS XBOX CAME WITH THE INTERNET!" person for a while, so I don't think there are any posts about it on this blog. But never fear, my friends!

THE STREAK HAS BEEN BROKEN!

I got a phone call yesterday from a gentleman who had bought an Xbox and a subscription to Xbox Live. He had screaming kids in the background, and I'm pretty sure he was talking on speaker, which makes every phone call great. He told me he couldn't figure out how to redeem the code on the Xbox Live card.

"The directions for how to redeem the code are printed on the card," I said. As are the words, I might add, "broadband internet required."

 "IT KEEPS TELLING ME TO GET A MODEM OR A ROUTER OR SOMETHING," he shouted.

Pause.

"Do you have an internet connection in your house?"

"NO. THEY DIDN'T TELL ME I NEEDED ONE."

Pause.

"You can't use internet services without an internet connection."

"THEY TOLD ME I COULD GET MY NETFLIX ON HERE."

"...you need an internet connection to stream Netflix. It's an internet service."

"MAN, THIS IS MESSED UP."

No it's not.

"WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME I NEEDED INTERNET FOR NETFLIX!?"

Long pause. Total silence. Resisting the urge to say "because I'm sure they thought they didn't have to."

"WHAT CAN I DO WITH THIS LIVE WITH NO INTERNET!?"

Pause.

"Literally nothing. Xbox Live is the name of the 360's internet service."

"I BET I CAN'T EVEN RETURN THIS."

"What store did you get it from?"

"YOURS!"

"The [location] location?"

"YEAH!"

"If you have your receipt and it's been less than thirty days, we can give you a refund," I said.

He never showed, which means he either lied outright when he said he got it at our location, or he doesn't understand that different stores in the same chain are run by different people, and don't have some sort of hive mind. Either way, I'm sure the other store was thrilled to deal with him while he ranted about how some lady on the other side of town told him he could have a refund if he brought his receipt.