I'm sure this sounded more profound when you were super high last night

"Like food. I don't understand food. You're like a battery, and then you get to eat pizza or whatever and then it turns into sugar you get to live. You eat sugar and live. It's mind blowing." - Real thing a real person just said in my store.

She also didn't understand how Playstation Plus makes money, when it costs $50 per year.