Today is my dad's 60th birthday

My father happens to be a ranked master in some sort of old-timey augmented reality turn-based strategy game called "chess."

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A chess set. You need a ton of accessories to get started, but they're all universal and not too expensive. Unless you get the set pictured above, which is diamond studded and costs $500,000.]

When I was little and required constant supervision, my dad would sit me in a high chair and make me watch him practice his chess moves. When I was slightly less little, I enjoyed stealing the pieces and having play-time adventures with the "horsies." When I got way older, I'd brag about my father's mad chess skills in order to pick up dudes.

Ok, that last part was made up. But I really did play a lot of chess as a kid.

[A baby playing chess. This is not a picture of me, though there are plenty of me playing chess in my baby book. This is a stock photo I linked from an article about raising baby geniuses. There are plenty of pictures of non-model kids playing chess on Google too, though, which makes me think this is a weirdly common parenting method.]

The point is, my dad gave me the gamer gene. (I just barely missed the Trekkie gene. My brother got that one.) I'm grateful to have it, because gaming is awesome, even if it's more than a little different from what it was in the 70s when my dad got started in his chess career. He stopped humoring my attempts to get him to play Nintendo with me when I was about five, and I've never really waded into the hot mess that is chess video games.

[Box art from the GBC installment of ChessMaster. My dad totally had this game on PC. He also kind of looks like The ChessMaster, or will in a few years. Incidentally, did you know that chess masters are actually wizards? Famous chess masters: Gandalf, Dumbledore, my dad]

Thanks, dad, for giving me gaming, and also for apparently turning me into a baby genius via baby chess, according to internet parenting advice.

My father has an intense aversion to all technological advancements more recent than the VCR. (No, seriously, he just got his first Facebook today.) But the internet has given the world two things that he just loves: ranty blogs, and memes. I've already got a ranty blog, but in honor of my daddy's 60th birthday, here is a chess-themed LOLcat:

[A cat hitting a chess piece with his foot. "Im on ur chess board pwning u at chess." Hahahahaha! That's so silly! Cats don't play chess! And they can't spell!]

Aw, heck, here's one more:

[A tabby kitten playing Invizible Chess. Hahahahaha! Cats don't play chess! That's what people do!]

And another:

[A cat lounging on top of a chess board, with pieces strewn everywhere. "Checkmate." Hahahahaha! Oh, cats. You are incorrigible.]

Happy Birthday, pops! Here's to another 60 years! Just kidding, that's biologically impossible. Go eat some birthday cake.